Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Holes In Jeans Considered Fashionable?”

Sandblasting jeans can be dangerous
always wear a bandana over your mouth.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I was going clothes shopping and couldn’t find a single pair of jeans without holes ripped in them. I asked the lady and she said it’s fashionable. Why are holes in jeans fashionable? -- Nigel from Tempe, Arizona

Dear Nigel:

I think sometime in the past a shipment of new jeans was attacked by wolverines and instead of throwing them out the jeans salesmen said it was new fashion. I don’t mind that though, for one thing it makes the homeless seem a lot more trendy. That’s a good thing. Yes it may look kind of stupid and if you ever shit your pants the poop will just slide out of the rips, but if it helps the homeless it can’t be that bad. It also encourages people to keep wearing really old ratty worn out clothes. That helps save cotton and those children who make the shirts in Thailand get a lesser workload. Plus, if you’re ever attacked by a pitbull you’ll end up looking really cool as long as you don’t bleed to death in the emergency room. If only they could make shitstains fashionable.

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