Dumbass Sayings: “I Just Crapped My Pants”

Do you know how hard
it is to digest denim?
Sometimes when you’re at the county fair with your family, your grandfather will turn to everyone after the roller coaster ride ends and say “I just crapped my pants.” Really? You just crapped your pants? I sincerely doubt that, Pop pop! Because in order for you to crap your pants you would first have to eat your pants and then digest them. That’s not even physically possible, I would love to see someone try to eat an entire pair of pants in one piece and then have that pass through their intestines and colon so that they can crap the trousers out of their ass. My grandfather can hardly digest a hamburger much less a pair of Dockers. No, that’s not possible. Maybe if you cut the pants up into shreds, but why the hell would anyone do something like that? You didn’t “Crap your pants” you “Crapped IN your pants.” There’s a huge difference between those two things. No one needs the visual of an elderly man straining to pull a shit covered pant leg out of his ass.

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