The Top 5 Ways To Tell People They're Talking Too Loud On The Phone

Take it down a notch, bitch!
There's not much in the world more annoying than having someone near you talking way too loud on their phone. They're so self absorbed they can't recognize the fact that they're bothering people around them. Maybe they never learned what socially acceptable public talking volume is. It's always good to be polite at first because maybe they have hearing problems. You can nicely ask them to speak in a softer voice. A lot of people make eye contact with the loud person and push their hand down to indicate they should lower their voice. Unfortunately this rarely works so you have to use advanced methods of persuasion. Here are the top 5 ways to tell people they're talking too loud on the phone:

5. Talk loud to yourself to mock them
This is a really fun way to get your point across. It feels really good to shove it right back in their face. The only problem is it could get them to talk louder.

4. Write a sign that says "Shut the fuck up" and shake it in their face
When someone reads a sign like that it usually shocks and insults them which will at the very least get them to stop talking.

3. Walk up and put your index finger over their lips
No one likes to be shushed, but doing it with your finger on the person's lips is a nice personal touch that usually gets the point across nicely.

2. Start peeing on their leg
If they didn't know you were bothering them before, they damn sure will when they feel a jet of steaming urine on their leg.

And the number one way to tell someone they're talking too loud on the phone is...

1. Get behind them and lock them in a sleeper hold
This is obviously the most blatant and illegal method of getting someone to quiet down, but no one can argue with the results. It's also very cathartic and enjoyable to choke out a person who's causing you severe annoyance. If there are other people in the room usually they'll cheer you on which makes it even more fun.

Sometimes putting someone the fuck to sleep is the only language they understand.

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