What To Do When You Fart Alone In An Elevator And It Stops To Let People On

They're not elevators
they're moving fart
caskets.

We’ve all been there. You’re in an elevator alone after work and you really need to fart so you let one out. It’s a loud one and a big one. Then as you’re smelling it and enjoying it for yourself, you see feel the elevator stop before the ground floor and a two or three coworkers get on. They smell your fart that has been trapped in there like a factory sealed bag of chips and there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind who it was. You were the only one in there and you’re the guy who likes Taco Bell for lunch. They know it was you and now the whole lot of you have to travel down together in awkward silence. Maybe they were talking among themselves as they entered the elevator, but once that odor hit them they stopped. They couldn’t bring themselves to open their mouths when faced with that horrid gas. You’re humiliated and you know everyone’s going to call you “The Elevator Fart Guy” for the rest of your career at the office.

Let’s rewind. What could you have done differently? Anytime you fart when you’re alone, but there’s a chance other people could show up you need to take out a lighter and use the flame to eat up all the fart gases as soon as you let it loose. Yes this is a mild fire hazard in an elevator especially if you farted A LOT. Usually it’s worth the risk to avoid professional humiliation. If you don’t have a lighter then there is one other option. You can suck the fart in. Breathe as much of the fart in as you can and your lungs will act like a filtration system for the fart. This won’t eliminate the entire fart and it could make you feel a little queasy, but it does work. The only danger is hyperventilating in the elevator. Fortunately if there are people getting on they’ll be able to call you an ambulance and you’ll be fine. They’ll likely be too concerned with finding an unconscious body in an elevator to notice that it smells a little bit like farts too!