Ask McFartnuggets: “When Someone Has Two Lazy Eyes Which One Do You Make Eye Contact With?”

Remember, just because
someone's eyes are lazy
doesn't mean their brain is.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
I met someone today who had two lazy eyes and I didn’t know how to look them in the eyes. I’ve known people with one lazy eye before and that’s a lot easier because you can just focus on the one good eye that is directed at you, but what the hell are you supposed to do when both eyes are swirling around like cheerios in two bowls of milk? -- Shana from Pittsburgh

Dear Shana:
Unfortunately there’s no right answer to your question. Usually when I talk to someone like this I try to put the focus of what I’m talking about objects around me like “LOOK AT THAT BUILDING!” Then I look back at them quickly in between the eyes to give the illusion of eye contact. I think that’s much better than looking them right in the eyes and playing that game of trying to catch their eyes with yours. If you do that for too long you can get sick, like trying to focus on all the cherries when a slot machine is going. Averting eye contact isn’t a nice thing to do, but it’s damn sure better than getting seasick all over someone ON LAND. Some people recommend sunglasses however then you’re pushing the burden of where to make eye contact on the dual lazy eyed person and that’s not right. One could argue the only thing tougher than making eye contact with someone with two lazy eyes is making eye contact with someone wearing dark sunglasses. Oh and they’re not “Lazy” eyes, they're just overactive and there's nothing wrong with that.

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