Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Lip Sync To The National Anthem At Sports Events?”

There's literally no reason not to sing
along to an instrumental rendition.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
Why is it in America whenever they bring a singer to perform “The Star Spangled Banner” before a sporting event, the people in the crowd and athletes lip sync along to the words. Why don’t they sing along? Why do they just mumble or mouth the words? What kind of donkeyshit is that? I always sing proudly. People give me looks! They look at me like “Who is THIS muthafucka?” Umm, I’m a patriot, lady. Try it sometime. Christ almighty what is happening to this nation?! -- Dave from Memphis, Tennessee

Dear Dave:
I hear ya brother! Fact of the matter is, most people aren’t comfortable singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” It’s a unique song that even professional singers screw up on a near constant basis. I mean if Christina Aguilera can’t get it right, what chance does Franklin the accountant have? It’s a shame that we’ve turned the song into more of a pre-game spectacle these days instead of having it be our true national song. You watch hockey games in Canada and they sing that “O Canada” song with their heart. I’ll admit it’s a catchier tune, but it was written in 1908. “The Star-Spangled Banner” was written in 1814. That’s 94 years. That’s the difference between “O Canada” and “Hot in Herre” by Nelly (released in 2002). Which of those two would be more fun to sing? “O Canada” was last revised in 1980. Imagine if we could have revised The SSB in the 80’s. We’d all be singing a Hall and Oates song before basketball games.

Yes, “The Star-Spangled Banner” is an old-fashioned song that only few people can sing properly, but that doesn’t mean people should be shy about giving it a go. National anthems are supposed to be songs we all sing freely and openly to exhibit the pride we have in our nation. To put it simply, we need more people like you, Dave. People should be too busy belting out “Rockets’ red glare!” to be noticing how weird the person next to them looks singing it. And too busy putting their lungs into “The home of the BRAAAAAAAVE!” to be clapping and hooting for whatever pop star American Idol reject the NFL hired to put up on a platform that day. I mean how ironic is it that we’re the “Home of the brave” and people are too scared to look like buffoons singing the national anthem? I’d rather make myself look like a fool for a minute while drunk at a professional indoor soccer league game than shit on everything the forefathers believed America stood for. Thanks for the question, Dave.

Send your inqueries to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and I’ll try answering them as soon as I can.

No comments :

Post a Comment