4.08.2014

The Top 5 Worst Things To Wear On A First Date

And regardless of what
wear, sleeper holds are
frowned upon.
They say first impressions are important so what you wear on a first date can either make or break you. Wear the right thing and you'll have a better chance of getting laid, but wear the wrong thing and the other person may decide to leave right then and there. I'm now going to list the top 5 worst things to wear on a first date. Don't make the same mistakes I did.


5. Pimp costume
Most guys want to look like a pimp, but when you dress up like one the woman you're with thinks you view her as a ho. Women will assume that just because you dress like a pimp you're a misogynist, woman beating, sack of crap. How about we cut the generalizations, ladies.

Most women don't want to be mistaken for courtesan streetwalkers.


4. One piece leotard
Leotards really aren't suitable date clothes. Wearing a one piece is going to attract a lot of unwanted attention and get you kicked out of most classy restaurants which means you'll end up having to eat at Olive Garden or Red Lobster.

Even if you're a trapeze artist, this is unacceptable.


3. Cat suit
You might think you look funny and cute dressed up like a cat, but most people tend to think you're mentally unstable. If they don't think it right away they damn sure will when they see you take a dump in your adult sized litter box.

Women can probably get away with this, which is another double standard.


2. Just a dead snake
Not many people can pull off wearing a snake as clothing. It's not really a good look even when you have some clothes underneath the snake so to be wearing just a snake is really weird. If it's dead that might seem safer, but it's actually pretty gross if the snake is decomposing. Nothing ruins a date like your snakes' eye popping out onto the dinner table.

Also don't wear a bunch of snakes on your head.


And the number one worst thing to wear on a first date is...

1. Dried blood
Wearing dried blood always sends the wrong message on a first date. You can try to explain that it's yours all you want. Most women just don't care. The image they get in their minds is that you're a murderer just back from your last kill and they're next. It doesn't matter that you just had a nosebleed that got out of control while you were playing freeze tag with your homies and didn't have time to clean up before the date.

Having blood all over yourself, especially on your face, from human scratch marks, usually sends the wrong message to people.

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