3 Ways Malaysia Airlines Can Keep From Going Out of Business

Making their planes easier
to see is a start.

With the recent disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 and the shooting down of Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, Malaysia Airlines is dealing with a serious decrease in business lately. Their company is in need of some extreme damage control if they want to repair their reputation and here are three things they should definitely try:

1. Start a “Malaysia Airlines Challenge.”

Playing off the popularity of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Malaysia Airlines should start the Malaysia Airlines Challenge where people on Facebook fly on a Malaysia Airlines flight and then record themselves surviving (if they do). Then after landing they challenge three other people to fly on Malaysia Airlines and if they don’t accept they have to donate to the families of the missing and dead souls from Flights 370 and 17.

Anyone can dump a bucket of ice water on their head, but it takes balls to fly Malaysia Airlines.

2. Partner with famous illusionists like David Copperfield and Criss Angel.

Malaysia Airlines should embrace the fact that one of their flights vanished. Vanishing is much better than crashing into the ocean. If there was a chance you could actually disappear during a flight that would be pretty exciting. No one wants to die, but disappearing would be a thrill. You’ve got to reappear somewhere. Where did they go? Are they in the prehistoric past living with cavemen teaching them how to make fire? Or are they in the future living with the Jetsons? If MA hired David Copperfield or Criss Angel to do commercials for them it could help advertise their brand with a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor. Who doesn’t enjoy a little levity from an airline company?

Make it fun! If they affiliate with an illusionist not only does the illusionist gain credibility for doing REAL magic tricks, but it makes the disappearances seem fun and hopeful.

3. Replace all the flight attendants with Malaysian prostitutes.

Now that Malaysia Airlines’ reputation as a quality airliner is gone, they may as well just go for the niche, gimmick market. If they hired prostitutes and strippers as flight attendants that would really help capture the male and lesbian market. While flying Malaysia Airlines is dangerous, it might just be worth the risk to get to bang a flight attendant 20,000 feet in the air. I mean if you’re going to vanish or get shot down by Ukrainian rebels it may as well be while you’re getting blown by a stewardess, right?

They look bored. Let them fly around the world and help make people's flights a little more tolerable.