Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Gay Men Talk Silly, But Lesbians Don’t?”

Lesbians talk like men so
they're taken more seriously

which is sexist against women.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
I was just doing laundry today and giving my dog a bath when I started wondering how come gay men talk silly, but lesbians don’t? What is it about homosexual males that gives them that funny voice, but homosexual women are free of it? Shouldn’t lesbians talk in a certain ridiculous way too? -- Tabitha from Newport, Connecticut

Dear Tabitha:
You have to keep in mind that not all gay men talk ridiculous so there’s a chance lesbians have a specific way of talking, but no one really notices because it’s not as flamboyant. Maybe the way certain lesbians talk is sort of a husky deep voice. Fact of the matter is, no one knows why the gay voice exists. If I had to venture a guess I would say it must be linked to gay people’s love of broadway musicals. There’s definitely a similar tone there. Maybe the gay men who talk like that and love musicals look up to the performers and subconsciously treat their everyday conversations like showtunes. The other possibility is there’s something about being attracted to men that makes you sound like a woman. That would explain why the gay voice sounds kind of like a bad impression of a woman. Again, there is no known science behind this and it’s a mystery that may never be solved, but for my money I’m going with a mix of those two theories.

Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and I’ll try to answer them no matter how ridiculous they are.

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