Dumbass Sayings: “Read Me”

Usually when you download a new piece of software, the folder in which it’s kept has a file called “Read Me” that contains instructions and information about the program. Have you ever wondered why it says “Read me”? Why do we try to assign human characteristics to electronic text files? Just call it “Read this.” Stop making me think that your notes are artificial intelligence with feelings. Do ya’ll think if it says “Read me” I’ll feel bad about not reading it because not opening it will make the file feel rejected and worthless? Yeah well, it’s a file so I’ll read it if I want. That’s a decision I’ll make based on my urges and not just to satisfy the emotional demands of a computer file. It may have human characteristics, but it damn sure isn’t very polite. How about a “Please read me”? Is that hard to add in one extra word? Then maybe I would read. Even if it is a conscious being who wants me to read it, if it has bad manners then I won’t regret throwing it in the recycling bin and emptying that bitch, sending that file spiraling to electronic hell, or the FBI or wherever deleted files go.

People like reading books because they don't act needy. Books could care less.

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