Ask McFartnuggets: “Whatever Happened to Erin Esurance?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Hey whatever happened to that pink haired chick from the Esurance commercials? Her name was Erin Esurance, remember her? Why’d she stop doing those commercials? She used to go around doing stunts wearing a black bodysuit. I really liked her. I liked her style. I kinda had a crush on her. Maybe I still do. Do you know what happened to her? Did she find another line of work? Is she married? I really miss seeing her on TV. If you see her let her know I’m a fan. -- Douglas from Long Island, New York

Dear Douglas:
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy… Erin Esurance was an animated character. To my knowledge she is not married. And yes she was hot, but I’m sorry to report that you may never see her in another Esurance commercial ever again. The story is that because she was so attractive, a lot of fans would draw her with her tits out and getting gang banged, etc. Because of how talented people are with Photoshop and other animation software it looked just like the real Erin. Then when people would google her without SafeSearch on they’d see obscene pornographic material which was then linked in their minds to the auto insurance company Esurance. Esurance found out about this and didn’t want their company to be associated with a pink haired cartoon slut so they got rid of the character and learned their lesson about having sexy animated spokeswomen. Sorry I had to be the one to break the news to you. Hey there’s still Flo from Progressive. I mean she’s no Erin Esurance, but at least she’s an actual human.

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