Dumbass Sayings: “Pulled Pork”

One of the most popular flavor sensations these days is “Pulled pork.” You can’t go anywhere these days without someone offering you some pulled pork. Do the people who make pulled pork know this is a slang term for masturbation? It’s not even a weird one like “milking the lizard” or “flogging the dolphin.” “Pulling your pork” is pretty self explanatory. I don’t think that should be the thought you want to conjure up with a meat food. The only time I want to be offered pulled pork in a Subway is from a homeless prostitute on an actual subway and I don’t want to have to pay five dollars for it either. What is with these foods like pulled pork and Jamaican jerk chicken? Can’t we come up with a better word to describe what’s done to this meat? How about separated pork? Does that not sound as appetizing? To be honest I think it does! Anytime your alternative is slang for jacking off you’ve gotta go with that.

I remember when pulled pork was just something pig farmers went to jail for.