The Top 5 Holidays When You Don’t Have to Say “Happy Holidays”

Saying "Happy holidays"
every holiday is a easy
way to look like an ass.

Sometimes a person will say “Happy holidays” to you on a random holiday where it feels completely out of place and weird. There’s a reason it feels weird. “Happy holidays” is not something you say during any holiday. It was a phrase invented so people could say “Merry Christmas” to Jewish and Muslim people. That’s the purpose of “Happy holidays” and that’s how it should stay if you want to keep from creating awkwardness on National Breastfeeding Day or some shit. Here are the top 5 holidays you don’t have to say “Happy holidays” on:

5. Flag Day

What is Flag Day anyway? It’s a holiday to celebrate a flag. Not the country represented by the flag, the actual FLAG. It’s a holiday for cloth.

Everyone should spend at least one Flag Day at the United Nations Headquarters.

4. Presidents Day

Saying “Happy holidays” during Presidents Day is just weird. The thing about “Happy holidays” is you say it on holidays that are about people not historical figures like Washington and Lincoln.

They must have had a hard time keeping the horse calm in the background when they painted this.

3. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is a nice day when people get to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The thing is, saying “Happy holidays” just seems strange to do especially to a Black person. Don’t do that. I know you’re just trying to be nice, but it looks bad and patronizing.

Even when the paparazzi was snapping photos in his face he stayed nonviolent.

2. Labor Day

Labor Day is one of those holidays that no one knows jackshit about. Why do we have the day off? Who cares. Labor Day? Sounds good to me! Say “Happy day off!” if anything.

If you're giving birth on Labor Day your vagina won't be getting a day off that's for damn sure.

And the number one holiday where saying “Happy holidays” is totally unsuitable is...

1. Halloween

The thing about saying “Happy holidays” is it’s kind of stupid when you think about it. On Halloween no one says “Happy holidays” because they can just say “Happy Halloween!” That’s what you should do with every holiday. Just say “Happy” then the name of the holiday. Why be vague about this?

"Happy holidays" is only meant for Christmas/Hanukkah time. That's why it's holidays with an S.