Ask McFartnuggets: “I Pooped While Twerking!”

Always take some Imodium
before extreme twerking.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
I was doing my weekly twerking video for Facebook when all of a sudden I felt a horrible cramp in my stomach. I had just left Taco Bell and had a few items from their Dollar Cravings menu. Yes, it happened. I pooped myself while twerking. I guess I was twerking too hard and it just slipped out. Needless to say I didn’t post the video, but everyone in the Taco Bell parking lot saw what happened and I was humiliated. What can I do to make sure this never happens again? -- Rosie from Baltimore, Maryland

Dear Rosie:
I’ve been there, girlfriend. The trick is to always wear waterproof tights when you’re twerking after any sort of Mexican or Thai cuisine. That way if a stray shart or squirt here or there pops loose it’s not that obvious. You can just sort of recognize what has happened and slow down and then come to a stop, grit your teeth and attempt a graceful exit so no one’s the wiser. Even if people think MAYBE you crapped yourself, there’s no real proof as opposed to when you’re wearing booty shorts or just a thong. Sorry to hear about what happened. You gotta watch those damn Fritos burritos.

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