Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Does Taco Bell Taste Like Cat Food?"

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Who hasn't been tempted
to eat a Fancy Feast?
I tried the Fritos burrito from Taco Bell and the meat tasted like a mix between wet cat food and clay. Do people actually enjoy eating this crap? Why do they act like putting Fritos in a burrito is so clever? Maybe they should just stuff their Doritos taco full of Fritos and top it off with some Cheetos and Pringles to make the LOCO SNACKFUCK TACO!  -- Geraldine from New Hampshire

Dear Geraldine:
Well the key here is that you said WET cat food. That's the good stuff. Have you ever seen those Fancy Feast commercials? That stuff is mouthwatering! A lot of human beings dream of being able to eat that food. I wish I had enough money to buy Fancy Feast dinners for every meal, but it takes a few cans to fill up my belly and that gets pretty damn expensive after awhile. Plus people tend to talk shit behind your back when they see you eating Fancy Feast in the break room at work. Now had you said it tastes like dry cat food then I would say that was bad. Meow Mix tastes weird and the texture and mouthfeel is just all off. Basically Taco Bell gives humans a chance to enjoy Fancy Feast quality meat in a socially acceptable and affordable setting and for that they should be commended.

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