Ask McFartnuggets: “Is The Apple iWatch Really Necessary?”

Oh so NOW smartwatches
are cool?
Dear McFartnuggets: 
Everyone’s so excited about the Apple iWatch except for me. I don’t understand why people really need a tiny iPhone on their wrist. They’re still going to have their iPhone anyway and their iPad and their iPad Mini and their iPod Touch and their MacBook Air and MacBook Pro. How many damn pieces of technology do people need? Is this crap really necessary? -- Nora from Cleveland, Ohio

Dear Nora:
It is necessary actually. You see, the future is wearable technology. In fact, the ultimate goal for technology companies is to have their products implanted in people’s brains or under their skin so they can’t escape it. A smart watch is the next logical progression. People are getting lazier and lazier so it would be ideal to have a phone that you can just wear on your wrist and look at all the time without having your hands occupied. Google Glass would have served that purpose, but it never really caught on so phone companies are going with watches now because those make you look less like a cyborg dorkass. If Livestrong bracelets taught us anything it’s that people love wearing goofy shit on their wrists. Personally, I think I’m going to hold off on getting an iWatch, at least until they come out with one that has a bigger screen and maybe they do away with the wristband.

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