Ask McFartnuggets: "How Come An Elderly Lady Can Wave At Schoolkids And An Elderly Man Can't?"

Old ladies only eat children
in German folklore.
Dear McFartnuggets: I saw a news story recently about a really old lady who sits at her front window and waves at children every single day on their way to and from school. The school actually had an event that celebrated her and they all cherish her in the community. Why come an elderly woman can do this, but if it was an elderly man they'd be calling the cops? -- Leonard from Albuquerque, New Mexico

Dear Leonard:
That is a double standard, but it's definitely understandable. When was the last time an elderly lady kidnapped a bunch of kids and held them captive in a basement? Has that ever happened? Meanwhile an old guy kidnaps a child almost every ten seconds in America. Those freak bastards have ruined the right for other old guys to wave at kids innocently. Fortunately, not too many old guys even enjoy waving at children. When a woman does it, people don't make a big deal about it because they're lonely elderly ladies. The only time elderly women attack kids is in fairy tales. Old ladies only cook children in stories, old men cook children in reality. That's really the reason it's okay for the women to wave at kids. Thanks for the question, Leonard.

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