Ask McFartnuggets: "How Do I Keep My Neighbor's Dogs From Pooping On My Lawn?"

You would think dogs would be
better neighbors.

Dear McFartnuggets: I had a new neighbor move in last month with these three annoying Chihuahuas. They bark super loud and my neighbor let's them run out onto my lawn and crap all over. They are small, but that's actually part of the problem. The poops are so small I don't realize I've stepped on them until I'm on my carpet at home. They may be small, but the doodoo accumulates over time as it goes unnoticed. Worse yet is I can't do anything about it because the neighbor just doesn't give a damn. What should I do? -- Brenda from Cleveland

Dear Brenda:

Some people would tell you to bag up the poop and throw it on your neighbor's porch, but that's too much work and can be seen as an illegal offense. A much easier and safer solution would be to adopt a very large dog like a Rottweiler or pitbull and.have that dog patrol your lawn. You won't have to worry about poop on your lawn because those little Chihuahuas will be scared shitless. Then to add injury to insult you can bring the dog to shit all over your neighbor's lawn at least enough to settle the score. Give that a try and if it doesn't work let me know and I'll see what else I can come up with.

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