4.04.2014

Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Don't Suicidal People Join The Army?"

If you join the army it should
be to wear awesome hats. Not
because you're suicidal.
Dear McFartnuggets:
How come suicidal people don't join the army? I know if I wished to die I'd rather die fighting for my country than in a bathtub or by jumping off a bridge. Why don't more people make that decision? -- Keith from Sacramento, California


Dear Keith:
I can't speak for the brave men and women who fight for our country so there's no telling how many of them were feeling suicidal when they enlisted. Therefore it's hard to say if your initial assertion is even correct.

As to why every single suicidal person doesn't join the army, that's another tough question. You can't assume all suicidal people agree with the military and that lifestyle. Plus, usually when you're in a suicidal mood it's all about you. When you're weighing out whether to take your own life or not, that's a time for severe introspection. When your every thought is about how you don't deserve to live I'd imagine one of the last things on your mind is protecting America. You rarely see suicidal people out doing charity work. People who do charity work are the upbeat happy folks who never give killing themselves a single thought. People join the military because they feel like they can make a difference in the world. People commit suicide because they're convinced they don't make a difference. Thanks for the question, Keith!

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