Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Politely Tell Someone To Shut The F Up?"

Try showing them an old creepy
picture of a lady with her finger
over her mouth.
Dear McFartnuggets: There's a guy at work who always tries making conversation with me and whenever I try to humor him he ends up talking non-stop until I can't take it anymore and I hide in the ladies room. I don't think he's getting the hint that I don't care about his hamster collection. I feel like I need to say something, but I want to phrase it politely since he's a coworker and I don't want to.get in trouble. What's the polite way to tell this guy to shut the f*ck up? -- Janet from St. Paul, Minnesota

Dear Janet:
Unfortunately there is no polite way to tell someone to shut the f*ck up. The whole purpose of using profanity is to be impolite. That's how you get your message across. When someone hears profanity they know the person talking to them isn't fucking around. Being polite is like whispering, you're not going to be heard. Unless you're dealing with sensitive people who are listening to what you're really saying, being polite is a waste.

In your situation, rather than curse the guy out I would just wear giant ass headphones so he knew you weren't listening to him. Then he'd be forced to move to his next victim who doesn't have audio earmuffs on. Even if he still doesn't get the hint (which would be creepy) you can just drown him out with music. If he persists then it would be a good idea to alert human resources to the problem. Good luck, Janet!

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