Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Keep From Needing to Poop at Work?"

You have to teach
your butthole.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
How can I keep from needing to poop at work? I know it sounds like a weird question, but I frequently need to take a poop at work and it's always a big hassle. It always breaks me away from the task at hand and eats into my productivity. You seem like a guy who has a firm grasp on your pooping. Are there any tips you can give me to help this issue? -- Shaunda from Seattle

Dear Shauna:
Train your bowels. You've gotta train your bowels that's the only way. Start taking shits early in the day before you leave for work. To start doing this, hold a dump as long as you can. All day if necessary and force it out in the early morning. Keep doing this for about a week or longer. Sooner or later your body will be conditioned to shit in the mornings which should solve your problem provided you don't have a fecal incontinence issue. I say train yourself to do this in the mornings because you don't want to risk having a cargo bay full of shit all day long at work. That would be a big mistake.

Keep sending me your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and thanks for all your support, folks!

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