Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay For Someone with Tourette Syndrome to Be in the Room For a Child Birth?”

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Dear McFartnuggets: 
My wife is in her final trimester of pregnancy and we’re expecting a baby around June 20th. I have Tourette Syndrome so I’m a little worried that if I’m in the room when she’s giving birth that could be an issue. I have the type of tic where I curse loudly. I don’t want that to distract the doctor and even have an impact on the baby. I think it might look bad if my wife gives birth and I scream “STUPID SHITFUCKS!” right into her vagina. It sounds like I should be able to stop myself from doing that, but I have a neurological disorder here so it’s easier done than said. Do you think it’s okay for me to be in the room when my son is born? -- Lamont from Cleveland, Ohio

Dear Lamont:
Congratulations on the baby. Yes I think it’s fine for you to be in the room when your wife is giving birth. Trust me, it’s going to be loud enough in there with your wife screaming her own curse words. The pain these women go through is so bad you’ll think she has Tourettes. The doctor is probably used to hearing all sorts of cusses screamed at him or her so that’s not an issue. And the baby isn’t going to give a damn because it’s not even forming memories at that point. Obviously don’t scream into its ear or you might break its brain, but aside from that there’s no problem with having Tourette Syndrome during child birth. Again, congratulations and have a great time watching a tiny person come out of your wife’s vagina.

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