The Top 5 Benefits To Having Bad Allergies

There are some benefits
to being allergic to plant sperm.
A lot of people are allergic to pollen because it’s basically plant semen. Nature doesn’t want you to get pregnant with a tree baby so you react negatively to this. If you have bad allergies you know how uncomfortable all that sneezing and excess tear and mucus production can be. Fortunately there is a bright side to allergy season. Here are the top 5 benefits to having bad allergies:

5. You always have tissues.
You never know when a tissue will come in handy even when it’s not allergy related. If you spill something on yourself or have an accident in your pants, a wad of extra tissues is very convenient.

4. People leave you alone.
If you have really bad allergies it might look like you have some sort of contagion in your blood and that will make people think twice about harassing you either sexually or for your money as in a mugging. No one mugs someone they think has a severely contagious disease. It’s usually not worth the risk for them.

3. Free prank fluid.
When you have severe allergies one key symptom is excessive mucus production. As we all know mucus is basically “Prank goo.” If you want to play a prank on someone at work just blow some of your copious amounts of nasal mucus onto the earpiece of their office phone. Then you can give them a call and have a good laugh.

2. You can cry whenever you want.
Having bad allergies means your eyes are usually producing excessive amounts of tears. This is a great excuse for crying in public. If people around you know you have allergy problems and they see you weeping like a widow about your personal issues they’ll just assume it’s a ragweed issue and it’ll save you a lot of humiliation.

And the number one benefit to having bad allergies is…

1. Free lube.
Another great use for all that excess mucus is lube. Whether you notice your a door in your office is squeaking or you’re out on a date and you forgot your KY, having loads of crystal clear mucus locked and loaded in your nasal passages can be a great benefit.

No more wasting money on this bullcrap! Natural lubrication is the way to go.

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