Dumbass Sayings: “I Don’t Bite”

If you possess teeth,
you bite.
Sometimes you’ll be talking to someone at a bar and they introduce you to their slutty friend who looks like she’s swarming with every STD known to man and this woman says “Hi… Why don’t you come sit a little closer. I don’t bite.” You don’t bite? That’s very interesting. How do you eat solid foods? I’d love to watch you try to consume an apple if that’s the case. Of course you bite! We just met and already you’re lying to me. Do you think that’s makes me comfortable talking to you knowing you can just blatantly lie like it’s nothing to you? If you ever tell say “I don’t bite” you better not have any teeth. The only place I should be hearing “I don’t bite” is at a retirement home when I’m trying to pickup GGILFs. Yeah that’s right GGILFs. Great Grandmothers I’d Like to Fornicate with. They definitely don’t bite as long as you keep them away from their dentures.

No comments :

Post a Comment