Ask McFartnuggets: "How Young is Too Young to Give a Child a Cell Phone?"

If you're going to give
a baby a phone at least
give them an old one first.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
I just had a child who is now three years old. Already he has a lot of friends and they are always talking to each other. Some of my friends' kids already have iPhones and they're not even 5 yet. What do you think age is too young to have a cell phone? -- Theresa from Piscataway

Dear Theresa:
I think a good rule is if you still have to wipe a child's ass for them after they go poopies, they aren't prepared for the responsibilities of owning a phone. Another thing you have to factor in is cell phone radiation. I would wait until the child's brain is fully formed. That means keep an eye on their test scores.  When they start stalling out that might be a decent time to give them a phone. If they keep persistently improving their grades that means their brain is still growing and you wouldn't want a stupid phone to put a cap on that.

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