Dumbass Sayings: “Grow A Pair”

How about I grow
a pair of pears!
Sometimes when you find out you’ve fathered another child out of wedlock and your ex-girlfriend wants you to help take care of the kid, before you run away to Bolivia for several decades she’ll say something like “Grow a pair!” What a bizarre command. Grow a pair? A pair of WHAT? In case you haven’t noticed, most things on the human body come in pairs: eyes, nostrils, ears, hands, kidneys, feet, nipples, etc. So when you tell me to “Grow a pair” you’re going to have to be a tad more specific. And if by some chance you are referring to testes, then I’m way ahead of you! I’ve already got two right here and they’re the whole reason you got pregnant to begin with, Gladice! Why would you tell a man to “Grow a pair”? If you’re going to tell anyone to grow a pair it should be women. If a woman is being a wussy then maybe she needs to grow a pair! But no one would say that because it’s gross. No one really wants a woman to grow a pair. Unless we’re talking about breasts. Still, that’d be horribly inappropriate and probably condemned by every woman as a form of bullying and body shaming. So all in all, male or female, this saying is completely stupid and needs to be retired.

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