Dumbass Sayings: “Off The Wagon”

When your Uncle Rick shows up to Thanksgiving high off his ass on heroin everyone says “Uncle Rick fell off the wagon!” This is supposed to mean that he’s back on drugs, but it’s a little confusing. If doing drugs is falling off the wagon then that means whenever you’re not doing drugs you’re technically “on the wagon.” If you’re sitting there without a heroin syringe in your arm that means you’re riding in a wagon right now. Does it feel like that? I don’t think so. When you’re doing drugs THAT’S what feels like riding on a wagon. Sure it might be more like a haunted hayride, but that’s still a wagon related experience. That’s the reason people do drugs to begin with, for the rush! When they do drugs they want to get on that wagon. And what is this wagon people are supposedly falling off of? Where is the wagon going? I’d presume it’s going nowhere so maybe falling off isn’t the worst thing that could happen.

If sobriety is considered being on a wagon then does that mean the people trying to keep you sober are horses?

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