Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Is Pubic Hair So Curly?”

Curliness gives your hair 
some character.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
Why is pubic hair so curly? What is the evolutionary purpose of curly pubes? -- Bernard from Chicago, Illinois

Dear Bernard:
The reason why pubes are curly is a mystery that baffles scientists to this day. All we can do is guess, but I would say the reason is obvious. The curliness of pubic hair helps create a springy cushion during sex. If you and your partner both have gigantic bushes they will act as a spring to help aid in the intercourse. If your pelvis is being pushed back by a spring cushion of curly pubes that will help you conserve energy.

Also, curly pubes have been passed on by our ancestors. Have you ever tried getting laid with permed flat ass pubes? Most people think you’re some kind of freak and kick you out of their house. People with natural flat pubes have gone extinct so there’s simply no alternative to curly. People prefer curly. It’s not like ruffled potato chips vs classic, pretty much 99% of people go with curly.

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