6.13.2014

The Top 5 Weirdest Places To Shave Yourself

There are a few places
you really don't want
razor burn.
Unless you’re a hippie or hobo or a hobo hippie, there’s a good chance you shave the hair off your body in certain areas. There are socially appropriate places to shave yourself like your face and to a lesser extent, your legs, but there are a few places you should definitely never shave yourself. Here are the top 5 weirdest places to shave yourself:


5. Eyebrows
Some people like to shave their eyebrows off and draw in new ones. I can assure you this is bizarre behavior. If your child was doing this you would get him into therapy. That’s how you can tell it’s weird.

If you want to draw eyebrows go make a cartoon.


4. Anus
It’s weird to shave your anus. I would recommend waxing just because it’s the lesser of two evils. Both are going to hurt, but at least with waxing you’re less likely to draw blood and experience a horrible infection.

Anal tissue and razors aren't a good mix.


3. Balls
Unless you have the steady hands of a great surgeon you’re not going to want to anywhere near your testicles with a razor. Putting a razor near your balls is worse than running around a pool while drunk, holding scissors and texting. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Shaving round things is always a challenge. Practice on a balloon to see what I mean.


2. Eyelids
Who do you know that shaves their eyelids? The answer should be “No one.” If it’s not then I feel sorry you know someone that disturbed. Eyelashes may seem pointless, but that’s no reason to run a razor blade across the edge of your eyelid. If you hate your eyelashes so much just pluck them out.

If you had no eyeballs like this drawing I would say go for it, otherwise you're risking permanent problems.


And the number one weirdest place to shave yourself is...


1. A bus stop
If you’ve ever shaved yourself at a bus stop before you know how weird it can get. People are just trying to get to their job, the last thing they need to see is you with your legs up and hot lather coating your taint as you run a Shick Quattro over your perineum. It’s so weird you might even get a visit from the good old police!

I know it doesn't say not to shave there, but just trust me.

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