6.07.2014

The Top 5 Weird Things You Can Do To Help Homeless People

There are many ways
to give back.
People are always looking for fun new ways to help those less fortunate. Sometimes it can be tough to think of original and inventive ways to help people out. Fortunately I’ve made a list of five things you can try doing for a local hobo in your town.


5. Give them a massage
Everyone knows a massage is great to reduce stress and homeless people have to be among the most stressed people around. I mean sure they might not look it, but did you ever ask to find out? No. So let’s just assume they’re stressed and start loosening up their back and neck with tiny chops. You want to get consent first obviously.

Massage is one of the most oldest forms of helping someone out.


4. Help them look for cans
It’s one thing to just give a homeless person a couple of bucks, but to donate your time and energy to actually help them in their pursuit for empty cans is another. How many people are willing to do this? None? That shows just how thoughtful it is.

Maybe you know some alcoholics that can help pitch in to a good cause.


3. Give them a bath
If there’s anything better than letting a hobo take a shower in your house it’s letting them take a bath. Homeless people might be allowed a shower every now and then, but a bath, now that’s luxurious. Most people with houses don’t even take baths it’s so goddamn decadent.

Everyone loves a good sponge bath.


2. Feed them grapes like a king
There’s really no reason why you can’t feed a homeless person grapes like they’re a king. Just take a bunch of grapes and dangle them over the person’s mouth. Most people won’t do it because they think it’s too weird and they don’t want to put themselves in that supplicant position before a hobo. You’re literally feeding the homeless and sacrificing your own ego to make them feel better about themselves. It’s a great gesture.

Grapes are technically similar to testicles, yet unlike testicles, they're a treat to have them dangled in your face.


And the number one weirdest thing you can do to help a homeless person is...


1. Take them out to an amusement park
Take a homeless person with you to Six Flags or better yet Splash Mountain, that way you can add in number 3 on this list quite easily. When you see that homeless person going down a water slide on a flume laughing, you know that for those few seconds they’re not homeless. They’re not even thinking about it. They’re free. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Just because they're homeless doesn't mean they've forgotten how to have fun.

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