Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Aren’t There Any New Wives’ Tales?”

Wives used to spread
a lot of bullshit information.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
You always hear old wives’ tales that give false information like masturbation makes you go blind, black cats are bad luck, and drinking a lot of alcohol while pregnant will make your baby stupid, but what about new wives’ tales? Where are all the damn new wives’ tales?! -- Sara from Tampa Bay

Dear Sara:
Okay, that last one was actually medical fact… I guess wives these days just aren’t into telling very many tales. Back in the times when most old wives’ tales were being told, women had a diminished role in society. There wasn’t much for them to do other than housework, raising children, and spreading untrue superstitions. Women these days are usually occupied with jobs and hobbies like old husbands used to be so there are no new wives’ tales for the same reason there are no old husbands’ tales. People are just too busy for that shit nowadays.

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