The Top 5 Things Never To Say During a Job Interview

If you want the job, ya
gotta nail the interview.
When you’re in a job interview it’s important to carefully think out every sentence before you say it. However, it’s also important to be honest and to appear personable. It’s a difficult line to balance, but as long as you remember the things NOT to say you should be fine. Here are the top 5 things you should never say during a job interview:

5. “This office smells weird.”
I don’t care if the office you’re in smells like a hobo’s ass filled with week old ranch dressing, you do not mention it to the person interviewing you because it’s likely their own natural scent and they will be offended.

4. “So when do I start?”
This is a very popular thing to say during a job interview as sort of a joke. The problem is a lot of interviewers will take it as an arrogant statement as opposed to a display of confidence.

3. “What’s the protocol for sharting during a job interview?”
If you shart during your interview, you might be confused as to what to do next. That’s normal. Just don’t ask the interviewer. Even if they can help you, it won’t help you in the long run. Keep a poker face on and plod through the rest of the ‘view.

2. “Hopefully it won’t be long before I have your job!”
Why would you say this? This is something you say when you’re getting a little too chummy with the interviewer and you feel like you can joke around with them. The problem is you might be reading the situation wrong. The thing is you’re not joking and the other guy knows it.

And the number one worst thing to say to someone during your job interview is...

1. “Hold on, let me set my buttplug to vibrate.”
If you have a vibrating buttplug up your ass then that sends the wrong message to the interviewer. They know you probably don’t need the job. Anyone with a vibrating buttplug is doing pretty well for themselves. Ever seen a hobo with a vibrating buttplug? I rest my case.

"Does everyone always wear helmets here?"

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