Ask McFartnuggets: "What's The Longest Time You Can Go Without Pooping?"

Sometimes you need to use a
flavor injector enema to defeat
Dear McFartnuggets: What's the Guinness world record for the longest time gone without pooping? What's the longest you've ever gone without pooping?-- Jan from Tacoma, Washington

Dear Jan:
Unfortunately there's no officially recognized Guinness world record for constipation length. I'm not sure why, clearly holding in your poops for a long time is a great achievement. Maybe it's just too dangerous to encourage.

According to Indian records a woman was constipated for 45 days and she required surgery to clean her out. Other medical records say 10 days, to me that makes more sense. The medical definition of constipation is having less than three bowl movements per week. So anything less than that is pretty dangerous. The feces rots inside your body and the bacteria can overwhelm your system.

What's the longest I've gone without pooping? About four days. I know it's not that impressive, I just really like taking dumps so for me not crapping is like quitting heroin. I need that high, Jan! I need that high!

Email your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and happy pooping!

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