Ask McFartnuggets: “If Meatballs Are Called Meatballs Shouldn’t Hot Dogs Be Called Meatcylinders?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Yo, why it is that dick shaped meats like hot dogs, sausages, knockwurst, bratwurst, cocktail weenies got so many different names and meatballs are only called meatballs? If meatballs are called meatballs shouldn’t hot dogs and all dem just be called meatcylinders? -- Tyron from Riverside, California

Dear Tyron:

I see what you’re saying, but there are a few things wrong with your point. For starters, a lot of the different names for “dick shaped meats” are from different countries so they’re different names because they’re different words for essentially the same thing. Why there aren’t more national variations for meatballs is a different story. I suppose making meatballs isn’t as complex a process as making sausages so there’s less room for ethnic variations. A meatball is a meatball for the most part unless it’s Swedish or Italian and then we just call them meatballs because no one’s comfortable saying the Swedish or Italian words for that. As to why hot dogs aren’t called “meatcylinders” I think that’s because meatcylinders just sounds weird. Also they would only be called that if meatballs were called “meatspheres.” Meatrod I think would be the proper equivalent and at that point it’s a little difficult to keep your appetite.

Well that's going to skew the average length of a hot dog.

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