Ask McFartnuggets: “Is There Any Kind of Nut They WON’T Make Butter Out Of?

Dear McFartnuggets: 
What the hell is up with nut butters? It seems like people make butter out of every single type of nut there is! Is there any kind of nut they WON’T make butter out of? Can they cool it with the nut butter? Personally I feel a little awkward asking the guy at Whole Foods if he has any fresh nut butter I can put in my mouth. He always smiles at me and says “Okay should we go to the bathroom?” -- Monica from Minneapolis, Minnesota
Dear Monica:
I think maybe the only nut they don’t make a butter out of is Acorns, but they probably do that too. It’s really not such a strange concept, nut butter is basically like jelly or preserves. People make jelly out of every fruit there is and no one gets on their case because the traditional concept of jelly is split between grape and strawberry. Peanut butter is the traditional nut butter so any deviation from that is looked on with suspicion. We’ll all get use to it soon enough, at least it’s not as weird as almond milk or chicken milk. And lastly I’d be very careful about how you request “nut butter” since this may be a slang term for something else.

Coconut butter is a real product.

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