Dumbass Sayings: “I’m On Top of The World!”

Sometimes you see a man running in the street naked screaming “I’M ON TOP OF THE WOOOOOOOORRRRLDDDD!” Apparently he’s feeling happy, but being on top of the world is nothing to brag about. We’re all on top of the world. Unless you’re a subterranean mole person, you’re on the surface of the planet which counts as the top. A sphere’s top is its surface. Now if you want to talk about altitude then you should say “I’m at the highest point in the world!” which is the top of Chimborazo, a stratovolcano in Ecuador. So if you want to say “I’m at the top of the world” you should say “I’M AT THE SUMMIT OF CHIMBORAZO!” Of course very few people will understand what you’re talking about, but it’s not like what you’re saying makes sense anyway. How is altitude related to happiness or accomplishment? If going higher and higher is good then the pinnacle of excellence would be someone dying of asphyxiation in the outer limits of Earth’s exosphere. It’s this misconception that higher is better that leads to dwarven folk being discriminated against and tall people being respected more. None of these beliefs are really based in any reality. If you don’t believe me, ask the naked guy screaming in the street.

Ask any recovered drug addict and they'll tell you happiness isn't about how high you can get.