Ask McFartnuggets: “Will Robots One Day Take Over All Human Jobs?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I’m a cashier at a pharmacy and now that I’ve seen some stores with automated self checkout I’m getting a little worried about my job security. I fear that one day my job will be taken over by a robot machine. To proactively combat this inevitable confluence of events I have been inquiring about other lines of work. The problem is finding a job that will one day not be taken over my machines. Is this a fool’s errand? Will robots one day take over all human jobs? -- Tyshon from Boston, Massachusetts

Dear Tyshon:

There may come a time when the majority of jobs currently held by humans are taken over by automated artificial intelligence beings, but I don’t think they’ll take ALL the jobs. There are some human jobs that a robot just can’t do. Oddly enough one of the safest jobs will be the world’s oldest profession: prostitution. It’s lasted this long for a good reason and will continue to because no one wants to risk getting a hand job from an assembly line robot arm. Even if they made one with soft skin and a failsafe to prevent it from jerking wildly if it became affected by some bad code, there’s always the chance it could randomly become self aware. At that point, having your dick ripped off would be your 2nd biggest problem. 1st biggest would be how to keep from bleeding to death and 3rd would be dealing with the ensuing robot apocalypse. Thanks for the question, Tyshon and good luck!

One day robots will be able to give hand jobs, til then they'll crush flesh like a tomato.

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