3.13.2015

The Top 5 Ways To Silence The Voices in Your Head

Everyone has voices in their heads that tell them to do things, some people’s voices are just louder and scarier than others. When the voices become very loud and persuasive most people choose to try to ignore them with drugs and alcohol which can lead to some very destructive events in their personal lives. Fortunately there are alternatives. Here are the top 5 ways to silence the voices in your head:


5. Listen to loud music
Have you ever wondered why you see so many people walking around listening to music with big headphones? It’s usually either to fill the empty awkward silence in their heads or to drown out the voices. As long as there’s music going in your head the voices will usually take a backseat.

Some people devote entire rooms in their homes to this.


4. Whistle
Whistling is just like listening to music except you don’t need to have a Walkman with you and you can write your own songs. Whistling and humming is a great way to tell those voices to take a hike!

Whistling is also a convenient way to talk to birds, since you're already crazy.


3. Go to sleep
If you can manage to fall asleep, the voices tend to stop. That’s when they put on costumes and become nightmare characters, but at least they stop talking. Who doesn’t prefer a movie over a radio show?

The nice thing about this is you can combine it with #5.


2. Talk over the voices
One of the most popular and effective ways to ignore the voices in your head is to talk a lot. This is the main reason so many crazy people are talkative. If they ever managed to stay silent for an extended period of time they’d start tearing their eyeballs out and eating babies.

And you thought it was a coincidence so many politicians are sociopaths.



And the number the best way to silence the voices in your head is...



1. Eat crunchy foods
This is a method that’s probably one of the most underutilized ways to ignore the voices in your head. Get a crunch cereal like Grape Nuts and start chewing away. Sure it’ll sound like there’s a team of elves jackhammering in your brain, but that usually beats the voices telling you to run outside naked and slice your nipples off with garden shears

In the long term you'll become a crazy fat person, but it's a great short term solution.

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