Dumbass Sayings: “Things Are Looking Up”

Sometimes when your cousin Teddy comes out of meth rehab and gets a call for a job interview at Safeway, he says “Things are starting to look up!” Why is this a saying? Rarely anything good comes from looking up. Just when you think things are looking up, a pigeon shits in your mouth. Have you ever tried looking up while you’re walking? You’ll usually smash right into a pole and break your jaw. Looking down is actually better than looking up. If you’re looking down you can avoid slipping on ice or stepping in dog shit. You can avoid falling into holes or tripping on hobos. What’s the benefit to looking up? If a hammer from a construction area is going to fall on your head then looking up will only make it fall on your face. How about you look straight forward and just focus on the job interview, Teddy.

Just when you think things are looking up, your friend hangs himself from a tree.

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