Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do They Give Death Row Inmates A Last Meal?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Why they give death row inmates a last meal of whatever they want? These are people who have been accused and convicted of the most heinous crimes imaginable and they get to eat their fantasy meal before their execution? That seems like a huge waste considering they’re going to die soon after that. That’s just more taxpayer money down the tubes. It’s literally not even turning our money into shit since it’s not fully digested by the time they die. And what really irks me is that most people don’t get a special final meal. Most normal law abiding citizens die unexpectedly so most of their last meals are probably something really boring and lame because they weren’t expecting to die. Yet, the scum of the earth gets the benefit of having a delicious meal before they die. I get that it’s supposed to be a nice gesture, but does giving someone a final meal really atone for killing someone? Does that mean I can kill someone with a clean conscience as long as I give them whatever they want to eat before I do it? -- Corky from Bridgeport, Connecticut

Dear Corky:
It is meant to be a nice gesture to help take the guilt out of executing a human being. Sure it’s not necessary, but it’s just a fun little tradition. It’s also interesting to see what people choose to eat before they meet their end. It helps to humanize the inmates before they’re murdered, which is probably not what you want to do, but it reminds us that these are people and we’re executing people. That’s the whole point of capitol punishment like that. It’s to serve as a deterrent to future crimes. Letting someone enjoy their favorite foods before killing them is almost like torture because they get to experience how good life can be before you end it for them. That’s even crazier than something a psycho would do. Last meals show us just how ruthless and calculating the state can be when it comes to criminals. That ends up being a subconscious tool for law enforcement because people know if they commit a murder there’s a good chance they’re next.

Good thing Jeffrey Dahmer never got a last meal.

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