The Top 25 Names You Shouldn't Give To Baby Girls Anymore

As the times change, so do the names we give to babies. The interesting thing about baby names these days is that you can name a baby boy whatever you want. Even if it’s a very old fashioned name it’ll just turn him into a hipster some day, he can grow a handlebar mustache and it’s fine. Naming a baby girl is a little more difficult because you can’t just throw any Victorian era name on a girl and have that acceptable in the 21st century. There’s no female equivalent of riding a bike with that big front wheel while wearing a handlebar mustache. Women don’t want to go back to that time, they weren’t even allowed to vote. As long as females are running from that past into the future, a lot of old school names will be met with ridicule and mockery. There are an outstanding number of female names seem really weird to give to babies and children. It’s almost like they’re only acceptable for elderly ladies. Here are the top 25 names you don’t want to give to a baby girl in the 21st century:

25. Dolores

24. Betsy

23. Mabel

22. Myrtle

21. Edith

20. Madge

19. Agnes

18. Ethel

17. Sylvia

16. Eunice

15. Constance

14. Wilhelmina

13. Eloise

12. Ernestina

11. Bertha

10. Hester

9. Flossie

8. Eugenia

7. Gertie

6. Bessie

And here are the top 5 names you really don’t want to give to a baby girl in the 21st century…

5. Birdie

A girl named Birdie these days will likely be met with neverending Twitter jokes. I’m sure it was a nice name in the 1850’s but it doesn’t work as a human name anymore.

4. Fannie

Today’s society has a powerful fascination with the human ass and since “fanny” still sort of means ass, this isn’t the best name to give to a kid. You want to keep your kid as far away from twerking as possible and naming them Fannie is just asking for trouble.

3. Pearl

Another nice name turned victim by changes in society and a morphing lexicon. A girl named Pearl will figuratively drown in “pearl necklace” quips and remarks.

2. Hortense

Hortense is a rough name. It’s a strong name. I think that’s because it starts off sounding like “horse.” Of course it also sounds like “whore” which is even worse.

1. Contessa

Contessa is probably the least anachronistic sounding name on this list, however it sounds extremely bad when people try to give your daughter a nickname. Most folks named Contessa go by “Tess” or “Tessa” because using the first part of Contessa sounds highly offensive and can be the source of many years of teasing and bullying.

It's like naming your daughter "Fanny" in England, except worse.