Dumbass Sayings: “I Remember You When You Were This Big”

Sometimes when you go to visit old relatives you haven’t seen in decades they always say “I remember you when you were this big!” and they hold their hand up around two feet above the ground. Why do people say this? Why does everyone say this? What is the purpose of saying this to someone? How am I supposed to react to this? “Oh… Good. Well I don’t remember any of that shit, but thanks for remembering....” That’s what I always say because I have no idea how to respond. I don’t think there is a proper response other than to giggle lightheartedly and change the subject immediately. You can’t make the mistake of trying to elaborate or continue on with the conversation. I tried that once. I said “Yeah I was really small when I was young!” then we just enjoy a nice five minute silence because we’re trying our best to talk about things that have absolutely no relevance. If you’re an old person, do everyone a favor and just save this line for your inner monologue. No one needs to hear it. How’d you like it if the kid replied “Yeah and I remember when your tits weren’t down to your waist!” Let’s not dwell on the past here.

That baby ain't gonna remember shit.

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