Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t Redheads Have Souls?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I am a redhead and everyone at school tells me I have no soul. Is this true? If so why didn’t God give any redheaded people a soul? What is the reason for this decision? -- Michelle from Portland, Oregon

Dear Michelle:
You probably don’t have a soul… But that’s okay. There’s a decent chance no one has a soul. Science can’t exactly prove that humans have souls. At the moment, science shows us no measurable soul essence in anyone. Even if souls exist and gingers don’t have them, it’s really not a big deal. If it’s all true then there are no disadvantages to being soulless. Redheaded people have the same types of lives people with any other color hair have, the only difference is they might get bullied for not having a soul. Aside from that, there’s really no positives or negatives to having a soul that we can see. I sincerely doubt that if souls exist and God exists that God would have chosen not to give them to redheaded people. Then again who knows? Maybe God is really racist against Irish and Scottish people. I suppose anything’s possible. Until we learn more about this it’s really nothing to concern yourself over. Thanks for the question, Michelle!

Be gone, demon!

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