3.29.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Tossing Salad”

Analingus or the act of “eating ass” is frequently referred to “tossing salad” and I never understood this. What type of salads are people eating that make them connect these two things? I know Wendy’s makes a lot of weird salads these days, but I don’t think anything should ever resemble a human rectum. Plus, if it was really like tossing a salad then people wouldn’t get so angry when I used tongs and added an acidic vinaigrette. Unlike, tossing an actual salad, when you’re tossing a figurative salad you never want to see anything that resembles croutons or bacon bits because these are usually shit crumbs and that’s gross. Which leads me to the idea that salads are generally a healthy food and eating ass is not healthy at all. There are no nutritional benefits to eating someone’s butt out and furthermore there are a plethora of illnesses and diseases you can catch from doing this, possibly the most severe of them all being e.coli. Ironically e.coli has been found on some spinach and produce in the past in high profile news stories, but I think that’s where the similarities end.

Ironically, tossing someone's salad is a health code violation in most restaurants.

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