3.20.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Pissing Contest”

Sometimes at work Jeff will walk in and say “We’re trying to get the report finished for the meeting, but Jeanine and Donna are getting into another one of their pissing contests!” What is this supposed to mean? What does a pissing contest actually entail? Is it a contest of who can piss the most by fluid volume? Is it a test of distance? Speed of stream? Do we really have equipment in the office to measure that? Are there strict rules controlling fluid intake in the moments leading up to the contest? Because to me it would seem like a pissing contest would really be more like a “Who drank the most?” contest. To me, that doesn’t really seem worth anyone’s time. And if it’s Jeanine and Donna does that mean it could also be called a “Squirting contest”? This just doesn’t make sense. Then to top it all off when I run into the room and yell “WHO PISSIN?!” It turns out they’re just arguing about work. There’s no urination going on at all. This is stupid.

Aww, that was my gravy boat!

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