Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Collect Shoes?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I was in the shoe store the other day and I saw a guy buying shoes and he said “Yo my man, give me two pair of this.” I asked him why he was getting two of the same shoes and he said “Because I wear one and I keep the other as a collectible.” I said “Oh…” and then he left so I didn’t get a chance to ask why people collect shoes. We live in a world where homeless people and future Iowan Senators walk around with bags on their feet how can anyone in good conscience buy an extra pair of shoes just to keep them in a closet? I don’t expect anyone to buy a pair of shoes just to donate them, but it seems excessive and frivolous. You don’t see people collecting pants. If you walked into someone’s house and they had a closet full of pants you’d think “What the fuck is wrong with this person?” Yet shoes are acceptable? Why do people collect shoes? -- Doug from Madison, Wisconsin

Dear Doug:
Shoes are just one of those special items that people enjoy collecting. In da hood, people’s social status is often tied to how “fresh” or good looking their footwear is. It’s a sign of wealth and accomplishment to have a lot of shoes. Combine that with the fact that there are so many different styles, shoes are basically like baseball cards or comic books you can wear and show off to people without looking like a nerd (as with baseball cards or comic books). It’s just something that got popular “in da hood” and like other things from said hood it is immensely popular with young people and thus the cool thing to do. People could collect eyeglasses in the same manner, but the difference is eyeglasses are not as cool as shoes. It’s all about how “tight” and “mad stylin” a wearable item is that affects how collectible it is.

Oh damn those new Air Cousy's are hot, son.

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