Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Possible Chris Brown Made Rihanna’s Face White and Gold and Everyone Overreacted?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Ever since I saw that white and gold dress that everyone said was black and blue I’ve started to wonder what if Chris Brown was innocent this whole time and Rihanna was just wearing white and gold makeup on her face that everyone misinterpreted as black and blue? -- Iris from Fort Worth, Texas

Dear Iris:

This is highly doubtful. If by some chance there was a misinterpretation of color then we would have seen her face as white and gold when it was really black and blue. If that was the case then nothing would be different because her face was actually black and blue. That is a solid fact. Whoever would have seen it as white and gold would be mistaken. Also, if that were the case, approximately half the population would have seen her face as black and blue anyway so Chris Brown still would have been in trouble. And finally, he actually did physically abuse her so there’s no chance that it was white and gold makeup. This dress thing probably only works with certain things because no one has ever heard of seeing a black person with a blue bruise as a white person with gold eye shadow. #TheDress was merely a photographic illusion nothing more than that and people need to shut the hell up about it.

How did your eyes get so gold?

Write your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and please nothing about that damn dress.