Dumbass Sayings: "Not a Dry Eye in the House"

When someone is making an impassioned eulogy at their grandfather-in-law's funeral people say "There wasn’t a dry eye in the house." Yeah I'd hope not. Eyes need constant moisture. Even when you're not crying your eyeballs should never be 100% dry. There has to be some form of fluid on those puppies otherwise they might begin to suffer abrasions which could lead to permanent vision impairment. The eye drop industry makes millions off the very importance of not having dry eyes. I don’t want to see a house where there are dry eyes. You’d just be walking around in horror seeing people with red, bleeding, cracked eyeballs. That sounds horrifying. Eyeball moisture is completely natural. Basically what I’m saying is we’re all softly crying constantly and it takes a true man to come to terms with this and accept it. I think this saying should be “Not a dry cheek in the house.” That would make more sense because crying hard results in wet cheeks as the tears stream down. If your eyes are wet, big deal.

You'd think babies would never need eyedrops.