Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Really That Weird to Breastfeed Homeless People?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I was breastfeeding my 12-month old Nathaniel on the subway when I heard a voice say "Yo ma, lemme get at that breast milks..." I looked over to see it was a homeless man with plastic shopping bags on his feet. I was going to entirely ignore him but then he started saying "Please I haven't eaten anything in days. I'm starving to death!" I offered him some money but he said he needed food now or he was going to pass out. I didn’t let him suck directly from my tittie, but I did squeeze some milk out into a coffee cup for him. Everyone was staring at me, but is this really that weird? -- Naomi from Queens, New York

Dear Naomi:
That was a very nice thing you did. It shouldn’t be a big deal to squeeze some breastmilk out for a homeless person every now and then. We’re all human beings. I think some people might be reluctant to do that because they’re stingy and selfish with their titmilk. They think it’s made solely for their baby and no one else. At least this is what women tell me when I ask for some. Now there’s nothing wrong with giving a homeless some milk, but actually letting them suckle from your bosom might be seen as a little weird. Even if the homelessman has no diseases and is careful with his teeth, you still need to have him stretch out on the subway seat and lay in your lap which isn’t really advisable especially if there are a lot of people on the train. Should they stand while a homeless person is being breastfed by a kind person? Yes. Will they want to? Hell no.

No this isn't an olde tyme telephone, it's a breast pump.
Hello, operator? Connect me with deliciousness!

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