Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Keep From Farting During Yoga Class?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I love doing yoga it’s been helping me a lot with my chronic back pain, except that I also have a gas problem. I’ve farted during my yoga class twice in the past week and it’s been devastating for me emotionally. All the women just kept going, but I know they heard it. We all heard it. It makes me want to give up yoga. I’m going to have to quit and deal with the back pain or be known as “The Fart King” at yoga. How can I keep from farting during yoga class? -- Peter from South Carolina

Dear Peter:
I’m sorry to hear that. You need to take a look at the foods you’re eating before yoga. Stay away from Taco Bell breakfasts and foods heavy in fiber. You can also try enzyme supplements that contain the enzyme Alpha-galactosidase like Beano that can help reduce stomach gas. Also try avoiding positions that you’ve been farting in. There are certain positions that really put a lot of stress on the anus and force that gas out. When everyone’s doing the Downward Dog just sit that one out. If all else fails, try farting as much as you can before yoga to ease the strain.

Yoga is meant to stretch every part of the body except your butthole.

Send your fart questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

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